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Boys: You are so dumb. You are really dumb, for real!

14 Jan

Today, as a scenario involving a boy played out, all I could think of was the gem of a quote from Antoine Dodson. Because sometimes boys are SO dumb. To the point where I feel some of my experiences could be played out on an episode of Sex and the City if the show still aired. I know not all boys are dumb, but in my experience the vast majority are, and here is my rant for the evening.

Met a very cute guy- “D” a few weeks ago. Turns out he is an ex of a friend’s friend, and has a rep for being a D-bag (how fitting). Me, being trusting and optimistic, decided to forgo the negative word of mouth reviews of this fellow, and see what happened for myself. We chatted on and off for the last couple weeks, tried to arrange a time to meet up, but plans always fell through last minute. I decided if he really wanted to see me, he would make it happen (a la He’s Just Not That Into You), but needless to say, I went out for drinks last weekend, caved, and messaged him. We made tentative plans to meet up the following week, but I decided to leave it up to him to message me and arrange it in order to see if he actually cared/wanted to hang out.

Fast forward to Thursday. I change my status on BBM to: “the condo hunt begins” and he messages me, asking if I I want a hunky real estate agent like Samantha had in Sex and the City. I explained that my friend and I had a guy who was already looking for us, and he proceeds to send me spiels of how he has “above average” experience with the condo market, and how he would “love a chance to sit down with my friend and I” to discuss purchasing a condo. I’m sorry, but WHAT THE HELL?! Why in the world would I want to hear a sales pitch from him? Instead of asking “Hey Jenna, how’s your week going?” or “hey, when are we going to go for that drink?” he instead goes in for the sales pitch kill. As my friend explains, “you don’t want to buy a condo from the same dude you kissed.” This irritated me so much. Could he have been any less romantic or thoughtful if he tried? He then asks what my weekend plans are. I tell him, and ask what he’s up to. The answer? “Nada. Working all weekend.” Me: “fun.” Him: “Yeah, good times.” WTF?! Why even bring it up if you’re not going to offer anything worth talking about.

It was at this moment when I realized how true the word of mouth statements of him being a D bag were. I thought of all the times we chatted via bbm and text, and how every conversation revolved around him. Oh he’s working on this, he’s from here, he volunteers at this place on the side, etc., when all he probably knew about me was my first name! I suppose this is a typical case of “he’s just not into me” but why be SUCH a dummy about it? Despite how this post may make me seem, I’m actually  easy-going and laid back. I’m definitely not one of those crazy girls who gets in a tizzy over titles and expects the world from guys. Rather, I’m up for anything and always go with the flow. However, I expect guys to at least have common courtesies. If you don’t want to hang out, then don’t suggest we meet for drinks and then never follow through. Also–trying to sell me your “services” in whatever career you do is the most un-sexy and unappealing thing you can do.

Guys–it honestly doesn’t take much to impress a girl, as a little thoughtfulness and decency will go a long way. It’s situations like this that make me wonder how many girls put up with this kind of ridiculous behaviour.

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The Friend Purge: when to make the cut?

20 Dec

Although it’s not the most uplifting topic to start off a new blog, but I’ve had a “bad week in friends” and wanted to write my thoughts down to get this off my chest.

I’m sure quite a few of us have been here before – you have one or two “friends” that you’ve been buds with forever, but you realize that you don’t actually like them. You know the type–that “friend” of yours who always bails on plans, the one who gives backhanded compliments, the one who claims to be your friend but is actually never there for you when you need them the most?

I’m not sure if it’s the cold weather that’s making me take a clear, hard look at who my true friends are, but this week I’ve experienced four different letdowns from my so-called “friends.” Now, granted, these people aren’t my best friends whom I see regularly. These are people I’ve known for years, through soccer, work, high school and so on. I’ve always liked to make an effort to see these people often to keep up our friendship, but lately I’ve noticed it’s not worth the effort.

I don’t want to call anyone out (in case they happen to read this and get offended), but to sum it up, this is what happened this week:

1) My oldest friend from high school (who I’m friends with on FB, BBM, and we play in a soccer league together), has not invited me to her February wedding

2) My other friend (who I have driven everywhere in the last few years since she doesn’t have drive), left me alone at a GO station at 1am while her BF picked her up and drove her home (10 minutes from where I live), without offering a ride.

Overall, pretty bad week! At this point, I think I just need to stand up for myself. I hate confrontations and love everyone to get along, so often times I will let things slide. But I think that certain people’s behaviour this week has been quite unacceptable.

As my wonderful friend G points out: “it’s really hard to tell the difference between a real friend, and someone you have good times with.” A real, good friend is ALWAYS there for you, no matter what. They won’t stand you up without an explanation, or not offer common courtesies to you, or make you feel guilty about anything. Too often I get the two confused–I excuse shitty behaviour with the the reasoning that “oh but when we go out, we have such a good time.”

My best gals

My bottom line is, I’m done with fairweather friends. I’ve put up with it for awhile, but truthfully I don’t think anyone should have to settle for less than great. If it means having a small group of friends you can actually count on, that’s more valuable and important than having a bunch of people around who you can’t rely on.